I’m so very tired.
You’d think I’d be in the cream. The entire world is living like me now, socially distancing, talking mostly online, getting to experience the day-to-day within their house and walls while only going out when necessary (although I normally get to go on low-risk outings if they’re offered), going on walks and avoiding people.
I understand why so many people with available transportation are going out anyway. Isolation sucks sweaty monkey balls, even if it’s not mandated. It’s worse when it is, because then you can’t even say to yourself, “If I wanted to, I could go to the store, but I know it’s not a good idea,” and at least have the satisfaction of doing the better thing.
I know all about wanting to live while you can.
Please don’t take other people with you. I’m so tired of seeing pictures of house parties, full bars and restaurants, beaches packed, play dates with lots of kids. There’s a difference between being chronically ill and going full Masque of the Red Death.
But even worse than the apathy of the general public is the malfeasance of our government.
My SNAP was cut again this month. Only by a few dollars, but on my income, that matters. SNAP is not taking COVID-19 into consideration for long-term cases.
If they aren’t going to give people on disability/SSI/SSDI a respite payment, the very least they could do is let us have enough to buy more food (and give the ability to buy online and get hot food) in this time of price gouging, empty shelves, and searching for scraps the rich and well-off left in their panic buying. Surely that’s only fair, and it helps the stores keep running, as well! It’s a win/win!
It won’t happen, naturally.
Just like none of the respite plans going through Congress have included the disabled. They’re all means-tested, and not just going up. Read the language, it all addresses ‘tax-payers’. Tell me, do your grandparents on retirement SSDI pay taxes, or is their income just too small? My SSI lawyer advised me that tax filing was no longer necessary years ago, and I know many, many people in the same situation (and filing doesn’t mean you pay—did you get your entire refund? I wonder what that means). We’re purposely left out.
I’d been asking questions when the entire idea of respite payments started, re: how they would work with SSI:
- Would it be considered a gift (SSI money gifts can be income), or a gift outright (like back payments)?
- Would these payments ($1-2k, either 1x or 1/month x3, many variations), be instead of or in addition to our normal allotment?
- Would our asset cap be waived for the duration?
- Would our income cap be be waived for the duration?
They decided to do one better and just means test us right out of the benefit, the way things are going right now. The government is leaving us quietly behind, while raising balloons about suspending rights, and mentioning that doctors may have to make ‘hard choices’ about treatment.
I’m tired of being told I don’t deserve to live, or to live well, or that I don’t deserve my apartment.
Please contact your Congresspeople, and especially Sen. Schumer, who is sponsoring a lot of these relief bills (that all leave out the disabled). I probably shouldn’t be reading them.
So in this time of stress, I’m going to continue to smoke test my knitting machine, to find all the needles that want to fail. Each hat I make reduces the count of what I have! But replacements are on the way, and I’ll (finally) be able to start my sweaters!
